Dirty Panties and Insecurities

May 6th, 2011
I started the day, or rather ended yesterday (1:00 am) by allowing baby to practice her patience. She seemed especially excited to send Mommy correspondence but had to await the address. It was adorable and I relished it. When I woke later in the morning I told her to think of me in her panties all day. She must imagine her tongue inside of me. I told her that it is time to get her ready, lubed and stuffed. I reminded her she must strive to love me more than I could love her. Baby only said a feeble yes so Mommy had to enforce her place by strictly instructing baby to SAY IT. She meekly says - yes to all things Mommy.

Baby sends me things to read. Sometimes I enjoy it tremendously and sometimes I find something better for her to read. Today she asks me with that sweet insecurity if I enjoyed my reading - and do I have a better understanding; an understanding that will allow me to have all of her for life. I see that in her insecurity she has already forgotten her place, so I deftly remind her that baby's only concern is keeping Mommy for life. I tell her to order the butt plug today that I want. That should have been the end of it, but fortunately Mommy likes a challenge.

My baby displayed her insecurity AGAIN by asking me if this is what I desire. I explain to baby that this is what she desires and for Mommy it is fun. Mommy cares for baby and I must be careful because I care for her. I mistakenly admitted to her that I was scared of myself, knowing how deep this would could become for me - far past fun. Baby loses her place again telling me - then it's not right and has to be what I need and desire. She goes so far as to tell me that when I stop being scared of myself then I would need it. I take a deep breath at her sweet and insecure ignorance. As usual baby, you don't understand. You really need to be put down and stop trying to control the situation. That's exactly what has always messed with me. I am done with it! Baby is scared and doesn't even confide in Mommy about it like she should. So, the last straw has been drawn as I tell her that she will just have to be shown, just have to learn the hard way. I dig in my heels and suddenly become delirious yet ridiculously calm all at once. Finally I've truly had it with trying to protect the wrong way. I'm done being gentle and hiding who I am. Don't get me wrong, I know how to nurture my baby like no one else, but this now has to be balanced with discipline. Harsh discipline to counteract the damage done over the years with my baby.

Like a cool rain after a scorching hot day, baby tells mommy... maybe you are right. Aaah the first real step. Well, prepare yourself doll, because I AM RIGHT. Stop trying to control everything. You will NEVER get what you want that way. This is gonna take more than three days.

Baby, you will learn to dress as I please, do chores as I please, orally service me as I please. You will only orgasm as I alone see fit. You will learn to be ready for me. You will become disciplined to eat as I instruct while we are apart. You will learn this or you will LOSE me. Understood.

My assignment for my baby today: 
Today you will stop by the house and put on my unwashed panties. I will take pictures of you in my panties so that if you ever choose to disobey me, I may have recourse. You will wear them all day tomorrow and return them unwashed this weekend.

 I was so pleased when my sissy not only told me yes ma'am, but also thank you. She confirmed an understanding of my assignment and that satisfied me as well. It is hard to get my point across to my baby sometimes, but it is always fun to make sure she understands in the end. Then she did as I had asked and told me what her diet consisted of today. She needs to held accountable in taking care of my body and figure.

Baby L. came to the house as instructed and even told me when she was going to be a few minutes late. She was polite and respectful in front and to my guests. I was cooking dinner so I threw the chicken on the grill and ran upstairs. I was stripping of the teal colored panties I had worn all day when I heard miss sissy coming up the stairs and calling me by my name. So the moment she made it to the top step, she was instructed to remove her pants so that she could display my panties for my pleasure. She nearly started arguing with me since there were guests in the house, but once I quickly shut the door, she quickly shut her mouth and my smile quickly found my face. She waywardly stood there looking embarrassed but oh so sexy with her head tilted to the side as red creeped up her cheeks and eye contact was forced. My smile turned to a stern look as the smell of my chicken crept up the stairway. Ever so quickly she stripped and awkwardly hurried to get her long sexy legs into the bright colored stretchy lace. POSE, I demanded as my camera pointed straight to her face. To my utter shock and exquisite delight, she began posing left to right with angles that completely betrayed any possible humiliation seen only seconds before. My baby came to life in those teal panties filled with the smell of my wet pussy. With a grand finale, she turned and bent over just enough for me to get the best angle. As warmth flooded the lips of my pussy and a tingling sensation attacked my titties, I ordered her to remain in the pose as if for another photo. I snapped the camera without looking at the picture, enjoyed every inch exposed around the lacy thong. As she began to rise, I couldn't resist but to run my hands over her bare flesh and finish with a little slap. The sound of my hand against her warmth made me remember I wasn't breathing and I ran to attend to my chicken and guests, leaving her there to fend for herself with the pants. I was very careful that my guests couldn't suspect anything by my demeanor. Baby came down  to bid goodbye, and slipped through the kitchen to give me a squeeze as I was busy with my hands. She pressed her cheek to mine briefly as I imagined her whispering goodbye Mommy. It was fleeting but reminded me of my sweet encounter that was only the beginning of ... well my guests were wondering too because I couldn't get that silly grin off my face. But don't tell my baby. She needs to work hard to please Mommy.

Later in the evening my baby asks me if I enjoyed and also thanked me for allowing her to wear my panties. I told her that I enjoyed very much and was very proud of her. I then instructed her that she must wear the panties tomorrow and will ask Mommy permission to do so again. She sweetly says that she will all day as I told her to - the sames ones Mommy.

Baby will come tomorrow night so that I can reward her for her obedience and teach her what else pleases me. First though, I will go out and enjoy myself while she takes care of my household needs. She asks me if I will go out and find someone, but I remind her that she does not have time to be worrying about these things right now as she needs to focus on her duties.

Yes mommy. Ah these words soothe me inside. That's my baby. One day maybe you will be my baby girl. Wet diapies and all Mommy? Oh, so much more.

I reward baby by sending a picture of one pose she gave me earlier. The attached message notes that there is some potential and much work. Ah the little things that need to be constantly reinforced as baby simply says K. No baby, your response next time will be thank you mommy.